Sunday June 3rd: The Queen’s Jubilee Big Lunch
Enjoy a traditional British roast lunch with a right Royal flavour!Read More »
Summer Madness 50% Off
Summer Madness returns to Linthwaite - stay with us for half price from May 6th!Read More »
Late Availability
Looking for a last minute break?Read More »
Mrs Blade part deux
The continuing adventures of Mrs Blade.
OK, back to 1976 ish. Lovely hotel, South coast of England; must be Hove actually.
Mrs Blade, one of four permanent residents, all of whom think they are blessed with superpowers, demands to see the Manager. That'll be me then.
We slide into the office tucked away behind reception, because the corridor to a hotel manager's office is very often crammed with stuff, and it's difficult to get in.
Mrs Blade sits precariously on the front of the seat on the other side of my old desk, as if she thinks she might be leaning on wet paint if she sits back.
“I want to report Mrs Sniff” Mrs Blade said.
Now Mrs Sniff was our bolshy housekeeper. Battle axe doesn't do her justice. If she'd been around when they made the Harry Potter movies she would have been on the he who can't be mentioned's side. Even he'd have been scared of her.
“What seems to be the problem?” I replied in my most sympathetic voice.
“Its very delicate”, she said.
“What is?” I asked.
“My knickers have been stolen” she said.
This was a puzzle. Not least because the idea of Miss Sniff wearing Mrs Wade's knickers was ridiculous. Mrs Blade was probably a size 8 whilst Miss Sniff was at least an 18.
“What would she want to steal them for, I mean she wouldn't be able to wear them would she?”
Mrs Blade was appalled that I should question her integrity. Maybe I shouldn't have been smiling just a little. Not professional at all. To make matters worse I asked whether Mrs Blade thought that perhaps Miss Sniff would be using them as a hanky. The mind boggles.
What the Press say
"From the friendly staff to the decadent furniture and the utterly relaxed pace of living, everything at Linthwaite House Hotel conspires to make you forget you ever had a care in the world." - East Riding/Hull Mail 2007
Read More »
What our Guests say
"Thank you so much for making our holiday in the Lake District such a wonderful and relaxing one! From the moment we arrived until our final day we have felt pampered and looked after in luxurious surroundings. There were so many lovely little touches that I thought I would make a list of everything we loved: The weather reports each morning, The stylish décor of our room – love all the cushions and head board drapery, The enormous bed, The Molton Brown bath products, The delicious breakfast – especially the French toast and the smoothies!, The fabulous evening meals. My stomach has finally expanded to accommodate all the courses each night! The serene conservatory, The yummy afternoon tea – especially the little yoghurty thing and the chocolate brownie, The stunning view of the lake, The beautiful grounds – especially the tarn, Enjoying pre-dinner drinks and canapés on the terrace, After dinner tea/coffee and petit fours, The wonderful, friendly, super-hardworking and lovely staff, The chance to enjoy relaxing, pampering treatments in our room, The bed turning down/cleaning service. I could go on, and I’m sure I’ve left something off but I’m running out of space. Thank you so, so much it was awesome!" - AA, June 09