Relationships and Hotels
I've always wanted to believe hotels do people good. They
make people feel better don't they? But some people take it a bit too far.
Whilst we might make people feel rested by giving them a break, what we can't
be are marriage problem solvers.
But hotels do benefit from people who think they can crack
their marital problems with a short break. That's an idea for a theme isn't it?
"Enjoy a two night break in the Lakes, includes
dinner, room, breakfast, and marriage counselling ."
Not that long ago we had complaints in the middle of the
night because of an unholy ding-dong going on. It wasn't just the hotel
furniture that was getting damaged, it was the couple! They paid for the
damage. Not sure whether the marriage was OK.
Then we had a lady who came down for breakfast on her own.
"Would you like to wait for Mr X?" we asked. "No, he's left me,
walked out late last night." She enjoyed the breakfast regardless.
I had a call from a man once who said it was my fault he was
getting divorced. he'd been staying at the hotel with his mistress and his wife
found out. He accused me of telling his wife, which of course I hadn't. She'd
got suspicious, found a credit card slip and phoned up for a copy of the bill.
As she'd said she was Mrs Bloggs and lived at the address we had, our
receptionist complied and bingo, he was banged to rights. But it was still my
fault he was getting divorced and I'd not heard the last of it. That was
twenty-five years ago!
Then we had the lady who was stalking her husband. She'd
ring up and ask whether we had a Mr Soandso staying. Well of course this a
tricky one for staff because we aren't supposed to give out private
information. So we can say we'll just check but if the guest has said "If
anyone asks, I'm not here" we have to go along with it. This lady just
hung around in the hall, very uptight, insisting he was staying and seeing us
as the her enemy. She wanted to catch him coming out of the lift. What should
we do? Ask her to leave? We did. She hung around outside and eventually caught
him redhanded. Our fault again of course.
A few years ago we were doing a wedding reception. The
bride's Dad was estranged from her Mum. He managed to not find the hotel on the
way from the Registery Office in Kendal. We all had to go looking for him, to
no avail. It's one thing to be divorced quite another to upset your daughter on
her big day. The reception was ruined!
At another hotel I ran we had a professional lady who stayed
regularly with a different man each time. She was quite brazen and told me that
she was test driving them! Obviously no emotional grief involved.
Takes all sorts.
What the Press say
"Linthwaite House Hotel has a spectacular Lake District setting, overlooking Lake Windermere. The atmosphere is cosy, and even better than a home from home." Red magazine April 2003.
Read More »
What our Guests say
"Thank you so much for making our holiday in the Lake District such a wonderful and relaxing one! From the moment we arrived until our final day we have felt pampered and looked after in luxurious surroundings. There were so many lovely little touches that I thought I would make a list of everything we loved: The weather reports each morning, The stylish décor of our room – love all the cushions and head board drapery, The enormous bed, The Molton Brown bath products, The delicious breakfast – especially the French toast and the smoothies!, The fabulous evening meals. My stomach has finally expanded to accommodate all the courses each night! The serene conservatory, The yummy afternoon tea – especially the little yoghurty thing and the chocolate brownie, The stunning view of the lake, The beautiful grounds – especially the tarn, Enjoying pre-dinner drinks and canapés on the terrace, After dinner tea/coffee and petit fours, The wonderful, friendly, super-hardworking and lovely staff, The chance to enjoy relaxing, pampering treatments in our room, The bed turning down/cleaning service. I could go on, and I’m sure I’ve left something off but I’m running out of space. Thank you so, so much it was awesome!" - AA, June 09