Relationships and Hotels

23rd Jul 2012
I've always wanted to believe hotels do people good. They make people feel better don't they? But some people take it a bit too far. Whilst we might make people feel rested by giving them a break, what we can't be are marriage problem solvers.
 
But hotels do benefit from people who think they can crack their marital problems with a short break. That's an idea for a theme isn't it?
 
"Enjoy a two night break in the Lakes, includes dinner, room, breakfast, and marriage counselling ."
 
Not that long ago we had complaints in the middle of the night because of an unholy ding-dong going on. It wasn't just the hotel furniture that was getting damaged, it was the couple! They paid for the damage. Not sure whether the marriage was OK.
 
Then we had a lady who came down for breakfast on her own. "Would you like to wait for Mr X?" we asked. "No, he's left me, walked out late last night." She enjoyed the breakfast regardless.
 
I had a call from a man once who said it was my fault he was getting divorced. he'd been staying at the hotel with his mistress and his wife found out. He accused me of telling his wife, which of course I hadn't. She'd got suspicious, found a credit card slip and phoned up for a copy of the bill. As she'd said she was Mrs Bloggs and lived at the address we had, our receptionist complied and bingo, he was banged to rights. But it was still my fault he was getting divorced and I'd not heard the last of it. That was twenty-five years ago!
 
Then we had the lady who was stalking her husband. She'd ring up and ask whether we had a Mr Soandso staying. Well of course this a tricky one for staff because we aren't supposed to give out private information. So we can say we'll just check but if the guest has said "If anyone asks, I'm not here" we have to go along with it. This lady just hung around in the hall, very uptight, insisting he was staying and seeing us as the her enemy. She wanted to catch him coming out of the lift. What should we do? Ask her to leave? We did. She hung around outside and eventually caught him redhanded. Our fault again of course.
 
A few years ago we were doing a wedding reception. The bride's Dad was estranged from her Mum. He managed to not find the hotel on the way from the Registery Office in Kendal. We all had to go looking for him, to no avail. It's one thing to be divorced quite another to upset your daughter on her big day. The reception was ruined!
 
At another hotel I ran we had a professional lady who stayed regularly with a different man each time. She was quite brazen and told me that she was test driving them! Obviously no emotional grief involved.
 
Takes all sorts.

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